Should I Stop?
by Acidic Lover
Summary: "It's just the immediacy of everything, its all coming at us so fast, and things can always change in a heartbeat, its hard to catch up, especially when it feels like I've been asleep all this time…" AH oneshot. Dedicated to ATotallyRationalFearOfKatanas


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: Hello readers, I would like to dedicate this story to ATotallyRationalFearOfKatanas. I wrote this well into 3:00 AM so forgive any mistakes I may have made.**

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Should I Stop?

"_It's just the immediacy of everything, its all coming at us so fast, and things can always change in a heartbeat, its hard to catch up, especially when it feels like I've been asleep all this time…"_

Dressed in a simple T-shirt and shorts, I sit at the bar and run my finger around in circles on the edge of the glass. The words are running through my head over and over. Did I really say them? Wow, I must have sounded so pathetic. I roll my eyes and take another shot of Vodka. My throat burned. Oh well. Not like they'll remember it in the morning, and if I'm lucky, neither will I. I throw back another shot. Just remembering the look in her eyes when I told her that. I shake my head. She almost looked concerned and I almost fell for it. I shake my long black hair out of my face. I had just come from 'counseling' with Sue, my mom. Seth, my little brother, was even in on it.

I pay the bartender and get up. I fight my way through the crowd of sweaty, overdressed monsters to get to the exit. Once outside I breathe in the cool air. The words, my words, still replay over and over in my head. It's like a freaking broken record! I resist the urge to bang my head against the wall and walk drunkenly to my car parked near the alley way. Oh don't worry, I'm not driving, if I kill myself, I'll do it alone, I won't have someone else's life hanging over my head along with mine. I just lay across the back seat and blast my speakers up so loud my windows start to shake.

"…_its all coming at us so fast…" _

I stare out the window opposite me and watch the parking lot. What would Dad say right now? He would probably come back to life just to die again at the sight of me. I frown. _I'm sorry Daddy…_ I think. I sigh and lean my head back against the window behind me. The music has numbed my senses somewhat, I absentmindedly slap my hands against my legs to the beat of the song, moving my foot up and down.

"…_I've been asleep all this time…"_

The whole car starts to shake, but I dismiss it. I just sit there and stare out the window. My head is spinning.

"…_things can always change in a heartbeat…"_

I feel asleep, yet awake, my mind is foggy. I can't move. The car is starting rock violently from side to side, I get slammed around. My head bangs against the dash board and starts bleeding. I see stars and feel the car flip over hear glass shattering. I can't register what's happening, I feel another force hit the car jolting it forward. I hug the back of the front seat and scream. I open my eyes just in time to see a huge brick wall in front of me getting closer. I swallow and squeeze my eyes shut again, getting ready for the impact.

The car catches on something and I'm flung forward at the front windshield, but get caught on the chunk of jagged glass still remaining in its frame. I cringe in pain, I am leaning against what's left the windshield, part of the jagged edge jammed into my wrist. I remove it slowly, crying, my blood mixing with my tears. I can barely move. I focus on breathing. I guess its all over now, it was an earthquake. I turn on my side slightly and dry heave the alcohol out of my system. My vision is fading, and its getting harder to breathe. I decide to not fight it, no one knows I'm here, it's the perfect moment. I give in and close my eyes, fading into a dream world. Only this world isn't happy at all, I see darkness all around, this is a nightmare. I let myself relish in it.

I watch the death and destruction all around me. I feel no more pain. I sit on the corner of a street next to a deserted building and wait patiently for the Devil to come and drag me to Hell. I smile evilly at that thought. I wait a few more moments, as more time passes I become more irritated. Why can't I just freaking _die_ already!

"_Leah?" _

I look around at the sound of the voice, it was familiar in a way. It had a gentle yet urgent tone to it.

"_Leah, can you hear me?"_

I look up and am blinded by a bright yellow light. The pain starts to come back, I can taste the blood in my mouth. My whole world around me suddenly turns into mirrors and shatter. I open my eyes again in fright, reentering reality. The face of Jacob Black is in front of me, looking through the shattered side window, shining a flashlight in my face.

He smiles and wipes away the tears he had been shedding, with the back of his hand. He calls over his shoulder. "She's alive! Come quick we need to get her out." He turns back to me. "Don't worry Lee, we'll get you out."

I just nod meekly and wait. Seth appears with Sam and they both open the door, holding it in place while Jacob reached his arm inside offering me his hand.

"Careful Leah." He says, as I weakly grab his fingers, he works slow and determined, moving my body inch by inch, until I am free. He lays me gently on the cold ground next to my totaled car. Dr. Carlisle comes over and examines me. He has his sons help lift me to the stretcher and into the ambulance. As I'm driven to the hospital, I go though an hour of interrogation to which I can only nod 'yes' or shake my head 'no'. After a while they finally run out of questions to ask me and we just sit there in silence. My mind is in overload, filling with its own questions, the top three being:

Where was Sue? I didn't see her, just Seth and the guys.

How did they find me? I was sure that no one knew where I was.

Why wasn't I dead? I was so close….

I look around and realize that I'm already in the hospital room lying in bed. The sterile white walls and sheets nearly blind me. I'm still in my clothes, but some nurses and Dr. Carlisle have come in and are removing glass from my body. I meet his eyes and he smiles warmly at me. This confuses me even more, why is he smiling, I'm just causing him and the others more problems. He leaves for a bit to let the nurses bathe me, stitch up my cuts and dress me in a white hospital gown. Then they leave too. I am alone. There is a mirror on the wall opposite the door, it only shows half of my body. I look at my reflection, I don't look like myself, at least not the self I think I should look like. I run my fingers over the stitches on my face gently, I pull at them and feel the pain, the stinging.

"You might not want to do that, Lee" I turn around and see Jacob leaning against the door frame.

"Why do you care? You could've have left me." I say harshly.

"You really have a lot to learn don't you, we care about you Leah, your like a sister to me. We're not going to let you just die." Jacob says back, his voice equally as harsh.

I am speechless for a moment. I sigh and lay back down on the bed.

Jacob took this opportunity to keep speaking. "Do you know how worried we all were, Sue nearly went into hysterics after that earthquake hit!" He says, starting to pace.

"How did you even find me?" I ask.

He glances at me and stops pacing, pulling out his phone. "It wasn't that hard." He showed me a text I had a sent him. I remember vaguely sending angry texts to people but I couldn't remember what I said in them.

"Damn." I mutter through clenched teeth.

Jacob hears me and says. "What's it going to take to convince you huh? One of us killing over to save you!" Jacob is practically yelling, his chest is rising and falling at a rapid speed. Before I can answer Dr. Carlisle shows up and escorts him from the room, in turn he has his nurses shoot me up with some drug and I instantly fall asleep.

When I wake up, my head feels very heavy, I swallow but it feels like I've been eating stale air. I sit up slowly and look around, I'm no longer in the hospital, I'm home. I look down and see that my regular T-shirt that I sleep in is on. I suddenly remember the argument I had with Jacob and start to get up. I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen, there he is, sitting at the table, holding his head.

"How did you know I was here?" He asks without looking up.

"Lucky guess." I say, walking to him. I lick my lips slightly and sit down next to him. "Look, I'm sorry about everything. I didn't mean to make you guys all worry about me." I glance at him.

He looks up at me with one eye. He says. "Sure, sure, Leah." He sounds pained.

"What? I am." I say.

"Sorry enough to stop?" He asks.

I catch myself and really think before I answer. Was I going to stop? I survived this time, but maybe next time I won't be spared so easily. The answer was right there in front of me, I just couldn't see it that clearly. I felt as if I might slowly be waking up.

"Well?" Jacob asks me, impatient.

I bite my lip and look him straight in the eye. I hope that my eyes can at least be truthful. I let the silence hang between us, he seems to register my answer, while my mind was still trying to work it out. Time seems to slow down as we sit there, unsure about what to do next.

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**A/N: How was it? Constructive Criticism is very welcome.**

**~Fyre-Mizt~**


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